i'm worst at what i do best

soundcheck: wind of change (the scorpions)
listening to the wind of change

the world is closing in
and did you ever think
that we could be so close
like brothers?

yet another compelling, interesting couple of days, and at least one more ahead.. first things first, it's sorta expected to face some sort of 'social backlash, if you will, from certain students and tchs.. but one particular tchr was just so daft and made it sooo obvious that she had a problem with me, for whatever reason, i will never aspire to find out.. what ever happened in class will stay there, but all i'll say is, you just wait for the nxt wk's lect test.. then we'll see who's the one who's been sleeping..

alright, now that unpleasantries are off, here goes nothing really.. past few days have been nothing but fun.. in sch at least.. breaks meant for eating & studying are now replaced by eating & comp games, be it addictinggames.com or miniclip.com.. whichever site it is, it doesn't really, the most fun part is def getting a kick of having our comps frozen by the minah inside e room, who shld be living a really miserable existence.. judging by e no. of ppl playing.. hahahas.. and amongst other things, there was another revelation this wk.. a meeting of lonely souls, if you will.. it's therapeutic, in the least, to have someone who's in the same exact situation as you, and knows exactly how it feels like to be on the outside looking in.. mmm... oh, and as expected, politicking exists all over.. so darn loathsome, this nonsense.. sigh..

and if you ever wondered, this whole chunk coming right up will be abt hockey.. by this time tmr, we wld known our fate, whether it's the semis or nothing.. whatever the result tmr, i think we will deserve it.. i'm not saying this in a critical manner, lest you think so.. what i mean is, i'm v sure that all 20 of us, playing or bench, will be giving our all tmr.. so even if (fingers crossed) we don't make it thru, i sure hope we leave ccab with our heads held high.. of course, i'd much rather see saints smiles at the final whistle compared to tears, but the ball is round.. you could dominate the whole game, but just 1 counter, 1 sucker-punch of a goal, and 8 mths of hard work would have just vanished in the time it takes to blow the whistle.. just imagine,
all those suicides & phantom chairs & bridges
all those long runs & gym sessions
all those countless laps round e track
all those minutes of friendlies played
all those endless hrs of bus rides to and from m'sia
all those loud & quiet pep talks
all those tears & litres of sweat & blood
maybe if we all think abt them tmr in the trophy rm, we'll be more prepared to fight.. mind you, it's not a match we're playing tmr, it'll be a fight. a fight for everything we've believed in and worked for these mths. we've come all this way, thru all these mths, it's time saintshockey did justice to ourselves and our sacrifices..
having said that, all 20 of us shld also set aside a small pocket of time to mentally prepare ourselves if destiny should deny of the semis.. it'll be so cruel to do so, but we've gotta realise that that's sport for you.. one min it lifts you high, and brings you crashing down the next.. we'll never become true winners if we don't think abt losses.. i mean, take it from sir alex ferg.. "..winning and losing are twins in a way".. personally, whatever happens tmr, i'll most probably be at pitch trng on sat, even if we get knocked out tmr.. there's a season for everything, even if the Bible forgot to mention a season of victory & defeat..

many elite sportsmen have described having a buzz abt themselves when approaching a big game, but right now all i feel is just calm.. i'm not thinking abt off-ball running, trapping, pushing, hitting and the like.. the time for those will come tmr, 745am.. it's best i think of nothing but prisonbreak.. i hope i don't come across as heck-care, and games don't come any bigger than sajc vs vjc, but sometimes, to take 2 steps forward, you'd have a first take a step back.. let's all pray that's the case for us.. amen..

other than hockey, i've absolutely shocked at e no. of road accidents in the past, like, 5 days? everyday there's a pic of a car wreck on the ST front page, goodness gracious.. sometimes i feel a pinch, cos that's not just another name in the newspaper, it's someone else's parent or spouse or relative or friend.. pray that God'll be with me & and ones i love and care abt.. amen.. and the 7 yr old leukemia boy died, and my heart goes out to his parents.. a parent shld never have to witness the death of his child, it's just another cruel way of life.. can you imagine having the apple of your eye and the love of your life snatched away from you?
peace..

quote of the day: "come to think of it, there isn't much difference between winning and losing, only how the outside world treats you. inside it's all about the same"--coach gary gaines, permian panthers, 1986